There are obvious reasons why some marriages don’t attain to standards. Today we shall be looking into some of this reasons.
Let me start by telling you that there are enemies that will not allow you to enjoy the best of your marriage that you have not cut off.
Below are some of them:
1. Slothfulness:
Some men are very lazy and added to that they do not work. They do not take care of their wives nor children. Some women are also very lazy and cannot take care of their home. In some cases, the house is dirty that you cannot event drink water in their home.
They depend on house help and where there is none, they live like lame women, not able to do anything.
Men are bread winners and women are bread eaters. A man should not depend on his wife’s salary. If you eat your wife’s money, it is a curse. If you are idle you will be tempted to follow ungodly ways of solving your problems because you will not be able to thing wisely. I am not saying that women should not assists their husband financially but husband should not depend on their wife’s income.
Of course in a home where the man is lazy, the woman will not respect him and that already constitute a problem. Laziness will bring problems into your marriage. Both the man and his wife must arise to their responsibilities so that their light can shine. Where one person does not work, anger is bound to set in.
2. Anger
Are you hot temper? It is a disease you can cure.
Some men and women have made some statements that are ungodly or unscriptural to themselves which is affecting them negatively and is not allowing them to advance in their marriage.
Some couples have made statements like “since I married you things have not been working for me”. These are couples with children. They have forgotten that you cannot use money to buy children in the market. They curse their themselves in the presence of their children, thereby laying a bad example for them to follow.
You take a wrong step when you act in anger. There is always a way to do things to avoid trouble in the home. Whenever laziness is not cured, it results to anger which graduates to complaining and murmuring.
3. Complaining and Murmuring
Some of us do not know how to appreciate God and appreciate ourselves.
When last did you say to your wife or husband “thank you for marrying me”. You see, in this life, there is no man or woman that is perfect. We are all moving towards perfection. If you complain for small or big things in the family, you will not move forward. There are certain things you just have to over look.
Stop telling people your husband or wife’s wrong. Settle your problems with your maker. Complaining and murmuring will not allow your love to flow perfectly. Marriage a commitment for life.
Where the above three problems exist and are not solved, it will result in deception.
4. Deceit
Some men and women are not honest to themselves, they are not faithful at all, and when they see something that is black they call it white. Financial problems are major areas of deception between husbands and wives. Walk in integrity of heart. When you sow integrity, you will reap it also. Be pure, clean and honest to your spouse.
I believe today’s post will really help in building your home, stay cool fine and keep the fire of love burning in your home.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The Woman as Home Builder
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” Prov. 14:1
woman, as a wife, is ordained to build the home. She is first of all a helpmeet for her husband. That is she is to help him to carry out his God given assignment directly or indirectly. She is to do all she can to make his life better. She is to minister to her husband in such a way that his heart will fully trust her.
Woman, as a wife, you are not cheap, you have worth. Proverb 18:22 says “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord”. You are a good thing. You cause your husband to have favour. You complement him, you make up for his weaknesses, you cover him, you don’t expose him.
A woman who would build a successful home must do her husband good all the days of her life. It does not matter if he does not fulfill his part. You do yours, do good to him and he will be won over.
One of the most important things a woman can do in building her home is to pray. She must pray for her husband and her children. You have no choice but to pray that your husband should move forward in life. When he moves forward, your life moves forward too because you are one. Have daily communion with God where you remember your Husband and children. Lift up your voice for the life of your children. Many children’s destinies are shaped on their mother’s knees.
A late man of God, Lester Sumrall in his autobiography said his mother was his greatest example in life and ministry. Susannah Wesley did the same for her children which became great men of God; John and Charles Wesley. Roberts Liardon, an American preacher owes his success to his grandmother who taught him and his sister to pray by example. By prayer you link up with God to see ahead and thus lead your child into their God given destinies.
Woman you are to obey and submit to your own husband. This is your God ordained way of expressing true love. Submission is not slavery. It is bravery. It is trusting the Lord enough to entrust your life into your husband by obeying him, not being afraid of the consequences or inconvenience on your part. 1 Peter 3:4-5 says “… a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price” For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands.
When your heart is adorned with meekness and quietness, you will be able to trust God and submit to your own husband. You must be submitted to God first before you can submit to a man. This is a major key in building a successful home. The man is the head. Just like there is no creature with two heads, the home can’t have two heads either. For the sake of peace, harmony and peaceful organization, there is a hierarchy in the home.
Woman, submission actually is the God ordained way to your lifting and fulfillment in family life. Don’t think you can’t fulfill your own destiny while submitted to your husband. That is the pathway to your rising. When your husband is happy with you and blesses you, you are blessed indeed. Submission wins a man’s heart. Win your husband’s heart and your home is bound for success.
Woman there is the throne for you in marriage and family, but you need the instrument of submission to ascend it. Jesus submitted Himself to the plan of redemption, and God exalted him. Dress, look, do things to suit your husband’s taste rather than argue with him. Don’t with hold your body from your husband in order to punish him, your body belongs to him.
Woman, it is your duty to see that your husband is satisfied emotionally and physically. Whatever you don’t give him, he could look for else where. Don’t drive your husband into another woman’s arms. Don’t be too lazy to take care of your body. Consciously prepare to be available for sex. Avoid the stress that will tempt you to refuse him. Also some women are too lazy to cook good meals for their husbands. Carefully plan and strategize every aspect of your family’s welfare, let your husband look forward to your meals. Manage the resources available to you and present nutritious meals for your family so that you don’t end up nursing sickness.
Good health is part of a successful family life. Take care of their clothes. Ensure that your husband and your children leave home in neatly washed and ironed clothes. They represent you outside. No matter how well dressed you are, if they are not, it tells on you.
As a woman it is your duty to ensure that your house is neat and clean. You can mobilize others to help out with certain chores. Let your children learn how to clean up too. Most men like clean homes and it saves you from embarrassments when you have sudden visitors.
Hospitality brings increase. Abraham and Sarah entertained angels, unaware that they were angels and by this received their son Isaac. Be a giver, help the needy. It’s a privilege to be on the giving end. It’s a privilege to have a home. Don’t get weary of well doing the Lord will reward you.
Wife, be warm and kind. You determine the atmosphere in your home, learn to be full of joy. When you are joyful its likely everyone else will become joyful. Your children are watching you. If you go about with long face, sadness would eventually creep into the home. God forbid. If you are yet to have children, this is about the quickest ways for them to come; by being joyful. Learn to praise the Lord in all situations.
Watch what you speak. Your tongue is a channels by which you create your world. Words that go forth from your mouth make or break, build or destroy. Speak God’s word regularly in your home. Speak good and positive things and believe what you speak. What you say is what you get. Heb. 1:3 says “..the worlds were framed by the word of God…” your home is your world. Frame it well with your words. God’s word will shatter every negative force that rises against your marital destiny.
Words are seeds, when sown they will bring forth fruits. Your children hear you and the words you speak continuously, until it enters their hearts. Don’t us abusive words on them, you are destroying their esteem and hence your home. Speak positive and affirmative words to your husband. Don’t use negative words, don’t talk to or reply him harshly or rudely. Speak encouraging words to him, show concern on his job and in the things that concern him. Offer meaningful ideas. If you have none, keep quiet and just listen and nod in approval. This lifts his self esteem and you’ll enjoy him better. Have a beautiful tongue. If you are used to loose talking, let the Lord heal your tongue now in Jesus Name.
When you fulfill all these, the result is that your husband will be known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. He will be a worthy representative of you and the family outside. He will bring honour to you and the home. Because he has peace at home, he can think properly on his job and is more productive. And others will want to listen to him. But if you do the contrary of any of these, your husband may not have a place in the gates with the elders. Don’t be a burden or excess luggage to your husband. Remember your husband success is your success. Your children’s success is yours. This is how to build your home.
by Rebecca Riches
woman, as a wife, is ordained to build the home. She is first of all a helpmeet for her husband. That is she is to help him to carry out his God given assignment directly or indirectly. She is to do all she can to make his life better. She is to minister to her husband in such a way that his heart will fully trust her.
Woman, as a wife, you are not cheap, you have worth. Proverb 18:22 says “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord”. You are a good thing. You cause your husband to have favour. You complement him, you make up for his weaknesses, you cover him, you don’t expose him.
A woman who would build a successful home must do her husband good all the days of her life. It does not matter if he does not fulfill his part. You do yours, do good to him and he will be won over.
One of the most important things a woman can do in building her home is to pray. She must pray for her husband and her children. You have no choice but to pray that your husband should move forward in life. When he moves forward, your life moves forward too because you are one. Have daily communion with God where you remember your Husband and children. Lift up your voice for the life of your children. Many children’s destinies are shaped on their mother’s knees.
A late man of God, Lester Sumrall in his autobiography said his mother was his greatest example in life and ministry. Susannah Wesley did the same for her children which became great men of God; John and Charles Wesley. Roberts Liardon, an American preacher owes his success to his grandmother who taught him and his sister to pray by example. By prayer you link up with God to see ahead and thus lead your child into their God given destinies.
Woman you are to obey and submit to your own husband. This is your God ordained way of expressing true love. Submission is not slavery. It is bravery. It is trusting the Lord enough to entrust your life into your husband by obeying him, not being afraid of the consequences or inconvenience on your part. 1 Peter 3:4-5 says “… a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price” For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands.
When your heart is adorned with meekness and quietness, you will be able to trust God and submit to your own husband. You must be submitted to God first before you can submit to a man. This is a major key in building a successful home. The man is the head. Just like there is no creature with two heads, the home can’t have two heads either. For the sake of peace, harmony and peaceful organization, there is a hierarchy in the home.
Woman, submission actually is the God ordained way to your lifting and fulfillment in family life. Don’t think you can’t fulfill your own destiny while submitted to your husband. That is the pathway to your rising. When your husband is happy with you and blesses you, you are blessed indeed. Submission wins a man’s heart. Win your husband’s heart and your home is bound for success.
Woman there is the throne for you in marriage and family, but you need the instrument of submission to ascend it. Jesus submitted Himself to the plan of redemption, and God exalted him. Dress, look, do things to suit your husband’s taste rather than argue with him. Don’t with hold your body from your husband in order to punish him, your body belongs to him.
Woman, it is your duty to see that your husband is satisfied emotionally and physically. Whatever you don’t give him, he could look for else where. Don’t drive your husband into another woman’s arms. Don’t be too lazy to take care of your body. Consciously prepare to be available for sex. Avoid the stress that will tempt you to refuse him. Also some women are too lazy to cook good meals for their husbands. Carefully plan and strategize every aspect of your family’s welfare, let your husband look forward to your meals. Manage the resources available to you and present nutritious meals for your family so that you don’t end up nursing sickness.
Good health is part of a successful family life. Take care of their clothes. Ensure that your husband and your children leave home in neatly washed and ironed clothes. They represent you outside. No matter how well dressed you are, if they are not, it tells on you.
As a woman it is your duty to ensure that your house is neat and clean. You can mobilize others to help out with certain chores. Let your children learn how to clean up too. Most men like clean homes and it saves you from embarrassments when you have sudden visitors.
Hospitality brings increase. Abraham and Sarah entertained angels, unaware that they were angels and by this received their son Isaac. Be a giver, help the needy. It’s a privilege to be on the giving end. It’s a privilege to have a home. Don’t get weary of well doing the Lord will reward you.
Wife, be warm and kind. You determine the atmosphere in your home, learn to be full of joy. When you are joyful its likely everyone else will become joyful. Your children are watching you. If you go about with long face, sadness would eventually creep into the home. God forbid. If you are yet to have children, this is about the quickest ways for them to come; by being joyful. Learn to praise the Lord in all situations.
Watch what you speak. Your tongue is a channels by which you create your world. Words that go forth from your mouth make or break, build or destroy. Speak God’s word regularly in your home. Speak good and positive things and believe what you speak. What you say is what you get. Heb. 1:3 says “..the worlds were framed by the word of God…” your home is your world. Frame it well with your words. God’s word will shatter every negative force that rises against your marital destiny.
Words are seeds, when sown they will bring forth fruits. Your children hear you and the words you speak continuously, until it enters their hearts. Don’t us abusive words on them, you are destroying their esteem and hence your home. Speak positive and affirmative words to your husband. Don’t use negative words, don’t talk to or reply him harshly or rudely. Speak encouraging words to him, show concern on his job and in the things that concern him. Offer meaningful ideas. If you have none, keep quiet and just listen and nod in approval. This lifts his self esteem and you’ll enjoy him better. Have a beautiful tongue. If you are used to loose talking, let the Lord heal your tongue now in Jesus Name.
When you fulfill all these, the result is that your husband will be known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. He will be a worthy representative of you and the family outside. He will bring honour to you and the home. Because he has peace at home, he can think properly on his job and is more productive. And others will want to listen to him. But if you do the contrary of any of these, your husband may not have a place in the gates with the elders. Don’t be a burden or excess luggage to your husband. Remember your husband success is your success. Your children’s success is yours. This is how to build your home.
by Rebecca Riches
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
20 Ways to strengthen your marriage
1. Decide to begin the day with love. Start each day with a kiss.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times. Let it be a visual reminder of your commitment.
3. Go on a date with your spouse once a week. Even if its just for tea or snacks, dedicate time for just the two of you.
4. Accept differences
5. Be polite, practice good manners at home (and everywhere else)
6. Be gentle, harsh words and actions have no place in your home, choose to be kind
7. Give gifts
8. Smile often. Put on a happy face
9. Touch. A pat on the back can show love and connection
10. Talk about the children. Take time to talk about ideas and dreams
11. Laugh together. Find something daily to share and laugh about. Life is incomplete without laughter
12. Do what your spouse wants before asking. Put his or her needs first before your own comfort.
13. Listen, you don’t have to solve problems just be an active listener. Turn off TV, put down the newspaper, and give your spouse your full attention.
14. Encourage. The best way to give support is to encourage your spouse to do his or her best and accomplish great things
15. Call your spouse, just to say I love you.
16. Look your best. Comfort doesn’t have to be socks and a T-Shirt for bed every night.
17. Apologize. “I am sorry” is as important as “I love you” in your home. It is not as important to be right as it is to be reconciled.
18. Ask, what can I do to make you happier? You may be surprised at how simple it is to please your spouse.
19. Create new times together, talk about special times you shared.
20. Pray for your spouse daily. Don’t let a day go by without praying for your marriage, your spouse and your family.
Riches O.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times. Let it be a visual reminder of your commitment.
3. Go on a date with your spouse once a week. Even if its just for tea or snacks, dedicate time for just the two of you.
4. Accept differences
5. Be polite, practice good manners at home (and everywhere else)
6. Be gentle, harsh words and actions have no place in your home, choose to be kind
7. Give gifts
8. Smile often. Put on a happy face
9. Touch. A pat on the back can show love and connection
10. Talk about the children. Take time to talk about ideas and dreams
11. Laugh together. Find something daily to share and laugh about. Life is incomplete without laughter
12. Do what your spouse wants before asking. Put his or her needs first before your own comfort.
13. Listen, you don’t have to solve problems just be an active listener. Turn off TV, put down the newspaper, and give your spouse your full attention.
14. Encourage. The best way to give support is to encourage your spouse to do his or her best and accomplish great things
15. Call your spouse, just to say I love you.
16. Look your best. Comfort doesn’t have to be socks and a T-Shirt for bed every night.
17. Apologize. “I am sorry” is as important as “I love you” in your home. It is not as important to be right as it is to be reconciled.
18. Ask, what can I do to make you happier? You may be surprised at how simple it is to please your spouse.
19. Create new times together, talk about special times you shared.
20. Pray for your spouse daily. Don’t let a day go by without praying for your marriage, your spouse and your family.
Riches O.
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